In July 2020, Meghan Markle shared her “almost unbearable grief” at having lost her child to a miscarriage. The Duchess is not the first royal to share the experience of pregnancy loss as Sophie Wessex and Prince Edward earlier opened up about their traumatizing pregnancy loss.
The Duchess hoped that by sharing her story she might be able to remove some of the stigma that exists around pregnancy loss to this day. While, 2.6 million babies are stillborn and an estimated 85 percent of miscarriages happen before the 12th week of pregnancy every year, it is a topic that many still consider taboo.
What is a Miscarriage?
A miscarriage — in medical jargon indicates spontaneous abortion — is the unexpected end of a pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation. During a miscarriage, an embryo or foetus is spontaneously expelled from the uterus but is incapable of surviving in the outside world. After 20 weeks, the loss of a foetus is called a stillbirth but not a miscarriage.
What Causes a Miscarriage?
Miscarriages are not caused by moderate exercises, falls, sex and stress at work, fights with a spouse, or morning sickness. Rather, a miscarriage is a biological way of ending a pregnancy that is not going right.
The loss of the foetus or embryo and its expulsion from the uterus can be caused by factors, ranging from genetic defects to immune reactions in a mother’s body. Research suggests that half of all early miscarriages are connected to abnormal chromosomes.
Often, the causes of a miscarriage cannot be pinpointed at all. And in almost every case, there’s nothing the mother did wrong that led to the miscarriage or could have possibly done differently to prevent it.
Symptoms of Miscarriage
The symptoms of a miscarriage can vary from woman to woman and in some cases, can be completely different if some woman. But the most common signs include:
Vaginal bleeding can start as a dark brownish discharge. There may be blood clots or other tissue passing from your vagina with heavy bleeding. However, not all bleeding during pregnancy indicates a miscarriage. Especially when there ‘spotting’ characterized by a small amount of bleeding, many pregnancies continue to be healthy.
Cramps or other pain in the lower back, the pelvic area or abdomen
A decrease in the usual signs of pregnancy, such as breast tenderness and nausea may in rare cases signify miscarriage.
In addition to the possibility of miscarriage, pain or vaginal bleeding during pregnancy can be caused by other problems, such as an ectopic pregnancy. These symptoms should prompt an immediate consultation with your doctor, midwife, or nurse practitioner.
Miscarriage During the Pandemic
While there may be no way to erase the challenges of miscarriage during a pandemic, there are some steps that can be taken to cope and make you feel empowered.
- Find alternative ways to connect: While the value of in-person contact cannot be replaced, consider other ways of connecting with friends and loved ones like virtual happy hours or virtual games such as trivia. It may also be helpful to set a regular time for these hangouts, such as Saturday night, to ensure you get that much needed time with your own people.
- Allow yourself to grieve: As mentioned, in the backdrop of significant losses and suffering this year, it can feel difficult to grieve the loss of pregnancies. Attempting to hold yourself back from grieving is like fighting quicksand, you will find yourself stuck even more. Giving yourself the space to grieve will allow you to move forward in the healing process.
- Connect to resources: Online support groups and miscarriage associations on Facebook and other online channels provide help. Additionally, it can be helpful to seek support through therapy.
- Find your anchor: Whenever you find yourself caught in a sea of intense emotions, it can be helpful to identify your anchor to keep you grounded. Your anchor maybe your loved ones, your passion or the most helpful coping skill you use like meditation or journaling.
While there’s so much we do not know about what the future holds for us, we know that there is support, we know that we are not alone, and that we’ll get through.
