Pregnancy is one of the biggest milestones in a couple’s lives and a truly life-changing experience. While it’s often the expecting moms who are the focus of attention, being the ones carrying the baby, the fathers-to-be do have a very crucial role to play as well. Just like the moms-to-be, the would-be dads are also filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions, ranging from anxiety and fear to excitement, pride and joy. It’s that seismic shift from being a man to becoming a parent, which is going to change your life forever.
By staying actively involved in the entire lifecycle of pregnancy, childbirth and baby-care, fathers can hugely support their partners, helping them cope better with the burden of anxiety and fear, expectation and responsibilities. In fact, studies have revealed that paternal involvement has a significant “impact on pregnancy and infant outcomes”. Increased involvement of fathers during pregnancy helps in lowering the risk of preterm birth, low birth weight and fetal growth restriction. This aspect gains even more importance if you are going through assisted reproduction (IVF). The role and responsibility of the father-to-be increases manifold, as he has to deal with his own associated anxieties as well as be there as a biggest support for his partner.
How can a to-be father help his partner?
Celebrate this extraordinary life moment and stay engaged through the entire cycle. Here are some broad tips:
# Prepare yourself emotionally: Like the mom, the dad also gets 9 months to prepare himself emotionally to welcome the baby. This period is best utilized by staying totally engaged and participating in all the activities relating to the pregnancy. This should include accompanying the partner to obstetrician or fertility doctor visits, watching ultrasounds of the baby together, shopping for the baby, reading up on parenting and in general, preparing yourself for impending fatherhood.
# Work in tandem: It is important to plan things together and share responsibilities spontaneously rather than assuming that household chores are best left to the mom. You should discuss and plan for the changes that the baby will bring to your lives. Yes, there will be increased responsibilities, but those will come wrapped in countless moments of pure joy that make everything worthwhile. So stay positive and help your partner remain happy as well. Make the necessary adjustments with a sense of pride and joy so that the mom-to-be feels reassured and relaxed.
# Open up about your concerns: Of course, looking forward to the baby’s arrival is always an exciting prospect for both the parents. However, it often comes accompanied with money worries and apprehensions about the future. Discuss your worries frankly and threadbare with your wife/partner, so that the weight is lessened and you get clarity of thought, and are able to relax. You can also speak to your friends/relations who have recently experienced fatherhood.
# Look after your health: Concentrate on staying healthy together by eating healthy, exercising regularly and making sure the expecting mom doesn’t miss any scheduled doctor visit.
# Chip in with chores: Since the mom already has so much on her plate, look out for avenues to offer help with household chores, fetching things from the market or preparing for the baby in various ways. You can always make a difference. So make that effort.
# Plan for childbirth: This in itself will take up a lot of your bandwidth. There are a clutch of critical decisions to make. There will be plenty of questions in your mind as well as the mom’s. So, you should discuss the birthing plan in detail with your doctor, attend birthing classes in tandem and make sure you are covered on all fronts for the big moment.
# Be there for her: At times, all she needs is you by her side to offer emotional support and reassurance. The mother goes through draining periods of anxiety and your mere presence can provide succor in so many of those foggy moments. Even a simple massage to relieve cramps in her legs in the middle of the night or her backaches can go a long way in relaxing her.
# Prepare for role of new father: The first few days after childbirth might see severe mood swings and/or postnatal blues in the mother, which are perfectly normal. Be there by her side and handhold her through these difficult phases. But don’t forget that you may need help to, particularly if you and your partner have gone through one or more IVF cycles to attain a much-waited for parenthood. Don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or counselor whenever you feel the need.
